Martin Summerhayes (martinsummerhay) wrote,
Martin Summerhayes
martinsummerhay

Relationship Lazy or Relationship Active - how would you describe yours?

Relationships, like all things have to be worked on, nurtured, cared for and developed. Whether it is personal or professional relationships, both take time and effort to develop and it is often the case that over time, things can become stale, repetitive and the amount of effort put into the relationship tails off. Hence, the phrase, Relationship lazy.

There are a number of common reasons why both business and personal relationships suffer and sometimes fail, these include:

1. Lack of Communication:
When was the last time you sat down and genuinely, really genuinely listened without your internal voice interrupting the other person. Did you actively and attentively listen to the other person? Did you reflect back to them the major elements of what they said? Did you feel "in tune" in the conversation? Did you even take the time out of your busy and filled lives to stop and listen? Try playing back the other persons works, phrases and if you are in tune with them, even the tone of voice.

2. Lack of Compromise:
Definition - Compromise is the art of making concessions where both major or minor decisions are being made. Whether is is a business meeting with a client; what to eat for dinner; or even going for a Sunday afternoon walking in the pouring rain; each and every decision can have an element of compromise.

3. Focusing on the Past:
Too many times people "rake over" past events, actions, circumstances or even the words and tone used in a conversation. This can make the situation feel as if you are going backwards and not moving forward together. You can not change the past events as other people have perceived them. You can change the future. You can recreate the past in a different manner for yourself and perhaps influence the other person, but this is very difficult. Reflecting on the past in a positive and uplifting manner can really help or even looking for positive points from a past event can help.

4. Negative Energy?
Finally, negative energy. Too many times I have been in a business meeting or event where I feel the creativity or spark of positiveness being drained due to the way people are talking down others. I have had people living in our house who I have called "happiness Vampires" -sucking all the happiness away we had spent time creating in our family lives.

So, how do you deal with these four aspects of Relationship Lazy? Are there more aspects to consider? I'll share my approaches in the next journal post to Relationship Active!

Please feel free to comment or share.

Tags: communication, life, relationships
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